INFJ Rant: Dealing with Low-key Narcissism

Narcissism is a touchy subject for me because I’m very familiar with it. I’ve seen it at it’s mildest and at its worst form. I’ve seen tendencies within myself and within other people.

And the center of it all is our deep rooted insecurities. We want the validation that we’re not as bad as our deepest insecurities paint us to be. People with narcissistic traits want to protect themselves with their ego.

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The Cost

The cost of understanding you is to lose myself.

Who I am is the lifeboat at the surface of the water. Who you are is the ocean. I need to swim, explore, and dive. Every time I dive, I need to go deeper.

At times, I feel myself rapidly losing oxygen and I have to hurry to the surface and stay in my lifeboat.

And when I’m ready, I’ll dive once more.

My favorite compliments…

… are those that show me you’re interested in what I care about.

… are times you are reminded of me.

… are ones that understand the struggles I go through.

… are the times that I helped you understand.

… are the instances you show me feedback on where I can improve.

… are the occasions you suggest things I might like.

… are the ones you notice I struggle to improve on.

… are the moments that show me I inspired you to change.

Most compliments I receive, I rarely expect. Some I don’t even acknowledge out of fear that it will turn people away. But I appreciate them truly. Thank you always.

Growing Old

“I am no longer afraid of getting old. Indeed I can’t believe I ever said anything so stupid. So childish. So offensive and arrogant.
But mainly, so very, very stupid. I desperately want to grow old.”
Elizabeth Wein, Code Name Verity

The infamous paradigm shift. At times, it takes them a life event for them to shift their mindset. And sometimes, it just takes a line from a book.

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