Things I’d Tell Myself At 16 (4)

It’s weird how personality is a buildup of who you are. Yes, externally we are different from who we were at 16. We could act different, but that 16-year-old self, the awkwardness, the angst and the rebellion… it’s all still part of who you are. To undo the events of your past, will undo some of who you are right now. But if I could give myself a heads up right now, this is what I’d tell me.

  1. It is okay to fail. And it is especially okay to fail in love and friendship. People say often that you will be a friend for life, a lover for life, but that is not easy. Anything that is worth having is something to work for, not only in terms of education and health but also relationships.
  2. Get interested in psychology now. Find out who you are now. Whether you’re an INFJ, an INFP, an ISFJ. It doesn’t matter really because all these terms are here are just place markers for personality traits you have and that you’re developing. The more interested you are in psychology, the easier it is to understand other people and more importantly, yourself.
  3. Don’t wait for people. Everyone has their own pace, some people will be ahead of you and don’t be envious. You don’t know what they had to do to get there as they don’t know what you had to do to be where you are. And don’t wait for people just to have company, it’s okay to stay on your path. It’s not selfish; it’s realistic.
  4. Be happy for people! The sooner you learn this, the happier you will in general. The competitions are in your head. The competitions people have with you are in their head. Let it go and just enjoy the successes of other people. You will see that it will open doors for you.
  5. Confrontation is a part of life. The sooner you say how you feel, the easier it will be for both parties.
  6. Address your feelings. Take time for yourself to understand how YOU feel about situations, not just on how others feel. It’s not selfish to take care of your feelings and values. This will really help with your mental health.
  7. Read 7 Healthy Habits. Just do it. It hurts but it will be a catalyst in your life: in realizing what’s important, in accomplishing your goals and keeping yourself grounded.
  8. Don’t waste your time with too many iPhone games. It really won’t cure the existential angst you feel. Read more books, you won’t regret it.
  9. Don’t be fake happy for the sake of trying to be actually happy. I know it kinda works, but it’s exhausting. There is nothing wrong with being sad, empty, angry or negative. It’s part of the experience in life. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
  10. Don’t play victim. No one likes it. People stop feeling bad for you. You are in charge of your life and choices. You can’t blame it on others and circumstances ALL the time.

Good luck, 16-year-old Marianne. You’ll do alright ;).

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