I write because I’m ‘sad’.

I once heard, “You seem to only write when you’re sad.”

Well, I usually have significantly more interesting thoughts when I’m ‘sad’ or catching the case of the morbs.

When I’m happy, I want to suck every last drop of it. I want to be as present as possible when I’m happy because it’s fleeting. The high will drop, the endorphins dry up and I’m left with my usual state of mind.

There is no happier moment for me than when I’m fully immersed in the present. The pain, guilt, and anxiety (almost) disappear. I can just be. I can just exist. Without the anguish of analyzing purpose, reflection on past failures, worrying about the impending future.

I know all of the above is important for planning and to improve myself, but it takes a toll on me. I’m thankful for the people who take me out of my head and show me that there is more to the world that what I see and feel.

Yes, I write when I’m ‘sad’. But when I’m happy, I’m not even near a keyboard. I’m out there somewhere, just living.

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