The indulgence of doing absolutely nothing. It’s a privilege that anyone can have. Yet for someone with my mind it’s a luxury.
That’s what I feel like I’m doing. Absolutely nothing.
One of my favorite repeating phrases that one yoga teacher of mine uses is “soften the mask of the face.”
My mask lately is that I am okay, I am productive, I am studying…when internally I cannot do any of those things.
I am wearing a mask that I’m fine, when I’m not.
When you admit it that you’re not, many people tell you just to get out of it because it’s the easiest thing to say to another person.
Just stop it. You don’t NEED to feel that way. Why do you feel that way? It doesn’t matter. You’re better than that. You’re weak. Just be strong. You’ll make it through this. This is temporary. You’re not what you feel.
It’s funny because I do know all of these things are true. But just because they are true, it doesn’t mean that I can just get out of it because I realized that. Internally, there is something wrong.
Me trying to fix it should be enough for now, right?