~Floating On~

Today, I felt the contrast of sensory overload and sensory deprivation.

Saturday and Sunday are the best yoga days of the week because my favorite teacher teaches.

Do you know that point in the workout where you stop thinking and you just do? You no longer care about how you look in comparison to your former self or others. You stop caring about your lack of strength, flexibility or knowledge of the exercise. You just flow into the next action, pose or movement. Your brain stops thinking about the next thing you have to do and the problems you have. You become your action.

This is an unnatural state for me to be in. I am a person of stillness. A person who’s mind is active and steady. It does not usually jump from one thing to the other. It is in a constant state of thought. My mind easily flows. But my body does not. I have slow grace. It takes me a lot of motivation to gain momentum. It’s easy for me to become still again.

But when I’m in her class she makes me move so much I stop thinking. I start acting. I become just my body. A body of action. It’s such a different and thrilling experience, I love going every time.

Then a few hours after I did the complete opposite.

I went to a Float therapy place and did a session for an hour. In Float therapy you go inside a large isolation tank filled with warm water and magnesium sulfate. The tub itself has light controls and can play music. You go inside the tank and because of the high density of the epsom salt water you float. Music plays for 20 minutes and then it becomes silence.

I didn’t know that I would be so prepared for this moment. In the sensory deprivation tank, you are alone with your thoughts. Many people are afraid of this, they are afraid of what they think about themselves or the world. Many people cannot stay still.

For the past few months I have been playing around with meditation. It helps me deal with my anxiety and pressure. I haven’t done it regularly but I usually do it during or after yoga. It comes in the form I described above. I lose myself in the flow.

But in that tank, it was more natural. Self-acceptance. I felt like myself. I did not feel pressure to empty my thoughts. I just played with water and relaxed. When the music stopped I became so comfortable that I fell asleep. I felt like an astronaut in space. I felt like I was in a place with no time, where I can just be in my natural state of being, where I didn’t need to try.

And I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Until tomorrow!

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