To The Least Wanted Person Out There: The Rest of Us Just Live Here Book Review

Yesterday I finished The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness.

The premise of the book focuses on an ordinary protagonist in an extraordinary place where there are supernatural beings like gods, vampires and ‘The Immortals’ roam about and ‘indie kids’ keep dying. But Mikey is not an indie kid. He’s  a regular guy who worries about his anxiety, his friends, his family, prom and going to college. It’s a book that focuses on ‘background’ characters.

I give it 3/5 stars. This is my first jump into Patrick Ness and I was pretty scared because my favorite Booktuber Reagen from PeruseProject says he one of her favorite authors. I dived right into the book without reading the summary and within the first chapters I was able to guess what the book was about. It’s the type of book that is what it is. The voice of the main character Mikey is a good solid depiction of how a teenage boy would think and act. I love how Ness deals with the issue of anxiety and family dynamics. This was a different type of coming-of-age novel. The main characters did not save the world, but they grew as individuals.

I recommend this book for October/Autumn season because the book has a certain chill in some moments that’s perfect for cold weather. It’s a light read, even if it deals with heavy issues. I also recommend this book for anyone who deals with anxiety and the loneliness that one feels when they have a mental illness.

Here are some of my favorite quotes. 

“Your heart isn’t the boss of you either. Thinks it is. Isn’t. You can always choose. Always.” “You can’t choose not to feel,” Henna says. “But you can choose how to act.” “Yeah,” Jared says. “Hard, though.”

“If you don’t think they’re real or important or you think that we’ll all grow out of this nonsense, well, that’s not really my business. I can’t tell you what’s real for you. But in return, you can’t say what’s real for me either. I get to choose. Not you.”

“What’s important is that I know how much you worry about shit. And what’s also important is that I know a big part of that worry is that, no matter what group of friends you’re in, no matter how long you’ve known them, you always assume you’re the least-wanted person there.”

“It feels like we’d almost got somewhere, but then missed it. I’m surprised at how disappointed I feel.”

“We share our craziness, our neuroses, our little bit of screwed-up-ness that comes from our family. We share it. And it feels like love.”

““That’s not the story that’s happening,” Mel says to him. “We’re not the kind of people that story happens to.”

“Maybe if you were a real friend instead of an endless bag of need, I’d have told you about him first. Did you ever think of that?”

“It has nothing to do with not trusting you. It’s to do with what something becomes once you tell it. It’s like it’s truer. And it’s got a life of its own and it rushes out into the world and becomes something you can’t control.”

Reflections and Spoilers After The Jump 

Mikey was the most relatable character for me. He wanted to be there for his friends but he didn’t know how to take care of himself. He’d find himself in ‘loops’ of acts to get out of anxiety. His love for Henna was to the point of annoyance at times, but it was accurate. Many teenagers fall into obsessive hormonal love while in high school. I’m proud because in the end he got out of it. What I love about him the most is his love for his sisters. It’s genuine and protects both of them fiercely.

I really loved Jared. 1. He can heal cats 2. He is a true friend to Mikey and a wise one at that. He also pushes Mikey to become a better person yet still wishes the best for him. Not many friends are like that. I also love the way he handles problems. He has the most ‘significant’ life among the characters because he’s the least normal. He dealt with his problems of being a ‘god’ in a very mature way. He knew his friends wouldn’t understand and try to sway his decision so that he’ll stay. Instead, he dealt with the issue on his own. He dealt with his homosexuality the same way, internally but with control and steadiness. He was the most independent character in the book.

I didn’t like Henna. I have the problem of assuming every girl admired through the eyes of a male charater is a manic pixie dream girl. But the thing is, she just didn’t have a personality that I could relate to. She knew the way Mikey felt about her yet she always toyed with his feelings (and straight up used him sometimes) to ‘experiment’. She didn’t even tell him the truth about Nathan until Mikey learned the hard way. How do you prove to someone you care about them if you play with their feelings like that? I didn’t understand Mikey’s love for her and that’s just how some love is. You’re not suppose to get it because it’s not you.

Mel and Meredith are Mikey’s sisters and I love them both. Despite having parents who were not really there for them, they were together as a family. I love that they support and love each other. I especially love how Meredith and Mikey care for each other and support each other especially with their conditions. If they didn’t have anyone else, at least they had family.

Reflections

“What’s important is that I know how much you worry about shit. And what’s also important is that I know a big part of that worry is that, no matter what group of friends you’re in, no matter how long you’ve known them, you always assume you’re the least-wanted person there.”

I’ve felt before throughout the years. I moved back and forth between countries and I don’t usually ‘keep’ the friends I make. In turn, I feel like I internally detach myself to people because once I move away, it hurts me to see that they don’t want to stay in touch as often as I do. I internally detach myself because I am attached to the person I don’t want to them to disappoint me. (“It feels like we’d almost got somewhere, but then missed it. I’m surprised at how disappointed I feel.”)  Like Mikey, I feel as though I am the least wanted person in a group and like Mikey, I know that’s not true. am the only who feels that way and thus, I am the one who makes that true. The truth is when people move away, they grow apart from each other and change. You can always fill the gaps in between but if two friends don’t put the same amount of effort keeping in touch will be harder to maintain.

“Maybe if you were a real friend instead of an endless bag of need, I’d have told you about him first. Did you ever think of that?”

Who hasn’t done this in the past? We have all been needy enough to turn people off but I was struck by this quote because I related to Mikey. Yes, I can give an infinite amount and support, but it drains me and I expect just as much from my friends. The truth is, no one can truly give the ‘advice’ I need because I don’t want advice, I just want support. The past year, I’ve been learning to be strong for myself and expect emotional healing to come within. It is not my job to heal my friends, but to give them the support they need. It is not their job to fix me; it’s my job to fix myself.

“We share our craziness, our neuroses, our little bit of screwed-up-ness that comes from our family. We share it. And it feels like love.”

This quote is how I feel about my brother. We fight crazily in the past and we don’t agree often. We’re wired differently but it has always been me and him as a team. My brother understands me the only way family can. We both share that responsibilty and I’ve never been more thankful.


I am happy I read this book! At first, I didn’t relate to the characters and I wasn’t realy into the premise but the lessons and themes that I felt in this book was universal. I recommend this book to all of the least wanted people out there.

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